Is sex work legal in Australia?

Is sex work illegal in Australia? Is prostitution and escorting legal in Australia?

Is sex work (prostitution, escorting, etc) illegal in Australia:



The simple answer is no. A sole operator, working from their own home and exchanging sexual services for money is acting legally across all of Australia – with conditions on how they can advertise and if they can work with others or not, but if you’ve seen some saucy adverts for escorts in Australia and wondered if you could/should contact them, then we have good news for you!  Woohoo!

The long answer as to what sex work is legal in Australia and to what extent is a bit more convoluted, as each state handles “prostitution” differently. In a general sense, sex work is decriminalized throughout Australia – so that’s a good first step. Next up, you need to see what is considered fine and dandy in each state:

[box icon=”heart”]Sex work in Victoria Australia[/box]

Street prostitution is illegal in Victoria so “Hop in my car, lets go for a ride” is probably not your best plan of action; that cute babe thumbing a ride… well she just might really need a ride. Brothels on the other hand are licensed and aye okay in Victoria; being in an unlicensed brothel can land you in jail for 1 month; second and third violations will result in harsher sentences. In a nutshell – sex work is legal in Victoria as long as it is with a licensed and regulated practitioner.

[box icon=”heart”]Sex work in New South Wales[/box]

Looking for a massage parlor with a happy ending? Look elsewhere. Sex work is legal and regulated in New South Wales but just like Victoria, basic rules abound, such as don’t solicit within view from a school, church, hospital or public place and saunas as well as photography studios, massage parlors and the like cannot double up as brothels! Advertising guidelines for escorts become tricky here – so you have to know what to look for when searching for one. No “massage parlors” here, aww. Stick to licensed and registered brothels, specialized service providers and you should be covered.

[box icon=”heart”]Sex work in Queensland[/box]

Looking for a visit from that lovely call girl your mate gave you the number for? Outcalls from brothels are illegal in Queensland (but individuals are free to do as they please, within reason) so you are going to have to visit yourself if you want to stay on the right side of the law. Prostitution in Queensland is regulated by the Prostitution Licensing Authority. There is also no sex in the champagne room! Alcohol cannot be served in brothels according to the Prostitution Act 1999.

[box icon=”heart”]Sex work in South Australia[/box]

You won’t be setting foot in a legal brothel in South Australia and the fight continues to decriminalize sex work. Commercial sex is not specifically illegal however there are a number of laws enacted to deter prostitution; especially with regards to brothels. We recommend some further in depth research to make sure that you remain within the parameters of the law. As the saying goes though; where there is a will, there is a way!

Making your life (and the escorts’) easier are sites like Escorts and Babes that ensure that the girls featured on their site are complying with age laws, as well as each state’s specific advertising law – it’s a convenient way to avoid the pitfalls of harsh and sometimes nonsensical laws, without any headache on your part. All the hard work is already done, so you can do some hard work of your own.

[box icon=”heart”]Sex work in West Australia[/box]

Prostitution is legal in this state; however, just like South Australia brothels are illegal as is soliciting in public places and many of the same rules and regulations are in place. For further information about the “do nots” of prostitution in West Australia we recommend a read of the Prostitution Act 2000.

[box icon=”heart”]Sex work in Tasmania[/box]

Legalized and regulated. Self-employed operators are legal and most of the usual rules apply; no soliciting in public places, near schools, places of worship, etc. Brothels and street prostitution are also illegal with The Sex Industry Offenses Act regulating prostitution in Tasmania.

[box icon=”heart”]Sex work in ACT – Australian Capital Territory[/box]

People have been legally getting sex in exchange for payment in ACT since 1992 when prostitution was decriminalized. You will find a large number of registered brothels as well as escort agencies operating legally, freely and responsibly! Hurrah! Many of the rules are the same as in other states where brothels are legal and regulated.

[box icon=”heart”]Sex work in Northern Territory, Australia[/box]

Sole operators have the go ahead in Northern Territory where prostitution is decriminalized. Escort agencies are legal and escort agency workers are registered with the police but the prostitution industry is unregulated (if that’s the sort of thing that bothers you).  Brothels and street prostitution on the other hand are not legal and soliciting in such places will put you in the crosshairs of law enforcement.

As you can see, each state has similar… but yet still vastly different laws. At its core however, is the notion that an individual sex worker is not committing a crime (as long as complying with all laws) and neither is the client, with some states being a lot more liberal than others. Nowadays, many people prefer to initiate contact with an escort through a website that has verified their identity/pictures; these are not escort agencies, you will be contacting the girl/guy of your dreams directly but you know that they have been “vetted” to some extent, and a reliable company leads to memorable moments without fear of accidentally mistyping outside the boundaries of often confusing laws.

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This post has been sponsored by: Escorts and Babes – All opinions expressed are of those of Curious Mikki and his alone. Information regarding prostitution laws of each state sourced from Scarlet Alliance, CATWA and state government websites – over time this information may become outdated as new laws are passed and amended, please ensure you double check your own research into the matter. The term “prostitution”, where used instead of “sex work” has been used in the legal sense, in deference to the laws quoted in each paragraph and not in a derogatory manner. 

For more information on what sites like Escorts & Babes do, click here!

How to not fail at sexting

How to not fail at sexting


How to get sexting right:

So you’re all hot and bothered and thinking of sexting that delicious barista that gave you his number last night? Or maybe you just can’t help being overly flirtatious with that hot blonde that works in the office next door. You may even be all giddy about this new sexting service you came across and are about to jump into some serious arousal at a site such as Arousr.

Of all the ways to fail at sexting the most common and potentially serious way to fail at sexting is to sext the wrong person. The last thing you want to do is look down at your phone in anticipation, only to receive a reply from your boss or worse – a self-righteous ex. But there are other ways to fuck it up too:

[box icon=”heart”]Beware of Autocorrect[/box]

Yup it’s not your fault; you didn’t mean to type “I can’t wait to make you cum, first with my fingers then again with my mother.” You obviously meant to type mouth but your phone has a sick sense of humor and it just made this conversation very awkward. Then again, you can always wait and see the other person’s reply before quickly correcting yourself but be warned, you may be shocked by their reply. On second thoughts don’t risk it. Learn to proofread your sext before hitting the send button.

[box icon=”heart”]Unwanted sexting[/box]

For the love of all that is reasonable do not sext a stranger unless of course they asked you to…

Don’t sext an old fling without warning. A “hey how are you” is a much better start; asking if they are still single might be a good idea and ease into things. “Do you remember that time at the office, on the desk?” is a good way to drop a hint, as well as some bait for them to catch, without going over the top – the last thing your sexting buddy wants is their phone flashing on their desk with “fuck me in the a with your hard co…” or “lick my dripping cu…”. Remember, you don’t know what they’re doing or where they are at that exact moment, so a fair warning or a simple, “are you alone?” can be a lifesaver for both of you.

[box icon=”heart”]Jumping into the bizarre[/box]

This applies for paid sexting as well. If you have a kink or fetish it is best to ask if the other person is ok with going down that route. Jumping into the bizarre without warning is a great way to fail at sexting; odds are that your potential sexting partner will quickly shut you down, ruining both of your fun and in some cases it can even get you banned from a paid sexting service. Which brings us to a very important point…

[box icon=”heart”]Forgetting that there is a real person on the receiving end of your texts[/box]

Play nice and you’ll probably be rewarded for it. We get it; you love calling him/her “A dirty piece of shit”. You mean it in the nicest, most endearing way possible, or maybe you don’t. Either way, be nice and if you really need to say things you probably wouldn’t say face to face to a person; ask for consent. Especially on paid services – you may feel that you are paying to fulfill a fantasy, but remember that there is a real human being on the other side of the screen, with real feelings and emotions. Treat them well and your time spent will be much more enjoyable.

[box icon=”heart”]Storing every sext you ever received and sent[/box]

You may live alone and have no outside contact with any other human being; doubtful but possible. You love reading through your smutty little interactions before you fall asleep; we understand. On the other hand, phones get lost, stolen, borrowed and quickly browsed by a curious friend among other things. Apart from your own privacy, you may be putting other people at risk. Be reasonable and delete anything you and your sexting partner don’t want out in the open.

There are a number of other great ways to fail at sexting such as, taking risks and meeting strangers you met through sexting without caution. Sexting illegal content that can get you arrested. Sharing your hot sexting conversation with a friend without your sexting buddy’s consent.

The list goes on but let’s just assume that since you took the time to read this post you are probably a sensible mature individual and can take a wild guess at what not to do. And if autocorrect still gets you…. just make sure to blur out the names and faces before posting it to a fail site!

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This post has been sponsored by: Arousr – All opinions expressed are of those of Curious Mikki and his alone.

Sex and Disability (Part 2 of 2)

Sex & Disability – The Ins and Outs of the Old In and Out

Mik Scarlet and his lovely wife Diane - Looking Awesome!

 

This is a guest article by Mik Scarlet – Journalist, Broadcaster, Actor, Musician and Full Time Wheelchair User. He’s been putting a spotlight on disability and sexuality for years – and we’re very happy he’s agreed to write a 2 part article on this issue, both for disabled people and their partners who may have questions. Click to read Part 1

Author: Mik Scarlet

In my last article for this wonderful website I asked why is it that society thinks disabled people are different when it comes to requiring love, sex and intimacy and how come non-disabled people feel OK with asking us questions that would make them blush if they were on the receiving end of those enquiries. I also explained how most disabled people have no problem with sexual function and that it is a combination of the aforementioned attitude towards disabled people and sex and their own confidence levels that impact on their sex lives. I wish I could remedy those with the power of words alone, but I think we all know that it will take a major shift in the way disabled people are perceived throughout the globe before us disabled types are considered, and consider ourselves, sexy. Instead I plan to give out a few ideas for making sex fun, exciting and fulfilling whatever level of function you have.

So where to begin? Well I would advise everyone to try out my technique for creating erogenous zones – Click here – if for no other reason than it give you the ability to orgasm in new and fun ways. If you have lost sensation in your sex organs it has obvious advantages too. Another tip on the orgasm front is that you have an orgasmic trigger point on the roof of your mouth. If your partner slowly rubs a finger along the roof of your mouth, back to front VERY gently you will find yourself getting there. It’s not exactly like a “normal” orgasm but some people say it’s even better as it starts in your head, and then moves over you whole body as opposed to kicking off in the groin. However, am I starting at the end here? Orgasms should be your goal but what about the fun bit of getting there?

I am a firm believer in fantasy and role play. This can be something as simple as wearing stockings or a tuxedo through to full on sexy scenarios. I lost my virginity to a nurse in hospital as a teenager and so rather like the whole nurse/patient game. I should say that I do have a “thing” for most outfits, from girls in suits, through denim (nothing like a nice pair of denim jeans worn by someone you fancy) to PVC. In fact it is more of a case of what I’m not into! Let’s face it, why not try your wildest fantasies, you’re disabled!

Whether through being born that way, coming to it through illness or ending up disabled through accident, you’ve faced your fair share of tough times so you deserve some fun. Try with some easier fantasies and see where your dirty little minds take you. Don’t forget you don’t have to include the disability. I have dressed up as Han Solo from Star Wars and Gigolo Joe from A.I. for my wife and they both used legs to get around. It is great being married to a sci-fi nut!

Of course many disabled people require assistance of a more personal nature, and this can sometimes get in the way of sex. Don’t let it. Try getting your sexual partner to include your personal care into your sex life. However much it might effect your confidence levels to require this kind of help, you must try to ignore those feelings. Give it a go, try a bit of sexy role play during your care regime and see if it works for you. If you need feeding, then maybe a sexy maid or waiter could be feeding you when they are over come with desire. You try to say no, but they just want you so much. Same goes for washing, you’re just so sexy they can’t resist and you can’t fight them off. OK, that might sound a little weird, but there should be nothing off boundaries between consenting adults. Especially when it comes to discovering your sexuality when you are disabled.

Another very useful ingredient to bring to your sexual table is the use of toys and equipment. Let’s face it, as disabled people we tend to use equipment to aid our lives most of the time so why not bring them into your boudoir? From something as simple as using your wheelchair as a sexy bondage chair, which of course means you can be wheeled or wheel yourself from room to room during sexiness, through to using your hoist as a sex swing, I am a firm fan of starting off with what you’ve got to hand. There are now sex chairs that allow people with various disabilities to do all manner of sexual shenanigans. If penetration is important, especially if you find yourself unable to manage it thanks to your impairment, then you have to try sex toys.

They’ve come along way since the boring pink rubbery things of my youth, and to be honest I kind of wish wheelchair design had kept pace with how cool sex toys are now. They can also do all manner of interesting things. My best mate gave his wife a vibrator that was controlled using his mobile phone, which would be amazing if your impairment impacts on your manual dexterity. There are also wedges that can make sure you are in a comfortable and accessible position. The list goes on, and I think you will find pretty much everything you might need online. This website has some guides to buying your sexy tool kit. I say tool kit as I built myself one in a tool roll as a youth, which kind of brings me back to role play eh? I’ve come to fix your…?

Disability should never be a barrier to having an enjoyable sex life, whether it’s in a loving relationship or as a bit of fun. Sadly sometimes it can be, but there are solutions to this. Many disabled people go down the hire a sex worker route. I always thought if I was unable to find a sexual partner I might take advantage of the huge numbers of people out there who find disabled people sexually attractive, known as Devotees. In my youth, when I was a TV presenter and musician, I found myself on the cover of the US Wheelchair Devotee magazine on several occasions.

However I also strongly feel that there are loads of people in the world who don’t care if you are disabled. They are interested in the person and they don’t care what does and doesn’t work if they fancy you. My advice is if you are single try to ignore your disability on the dating scene a few times before you try other methods to find a partner. For those in a relationship who might have just come to their disability I can only say no matter how much it is all you think about I doubt your partner is as obsessed. They probably just want to be intimate with you because they miss you and want to feel you in their arms again.

I still remember how I felt as a disabled teenager as I started out into the world of love and sex. I was sure that no one would ever love or fancy me. When I lost my sexual function I was positive it was game over, but in fact it was where it all began. I was lucky, I fell in with a crowd of lesbians who assured (and showed) me sex was more than possible without penetration, my first love showed me I was lovable, and after many years of relationships, doomed due to emotional incompatibility rather than sexual, I found my wonderful wife. We just clicked on every level, and we are still very happy nearly 20 years after we got together.

I hope you all are this lucky too and that my articles help in some way, if for no other reason than they prove you can have sex. Personally I think as disabled people we are able to have better sex than our non-disabled fellows and our partners know it. It’s why they are keeping quiet about it, because once the secret is out everyone will want to fuck a cripple!

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Useful online resources:

  • http://www.streetsie.com/spinal-injury-wheelchair-sex/
  • http://www.themobilityresource.com/10-misconceptions-about-sex-and-disability/
  • http://sexuality.about.com/od/sexdisabilityresources/
  • http://www.shada.org.uk/

 Products Sites:

  • http://www.spokz.co.uk/sections/sex-aid-products.asp
  • http://paisleymobilitycentre.co.uk/disabled-sex-aid-equipment-c-216.html
  • http://www.beecourse.com/Sex-Toys-for-disabled-use/

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Mik Scarlet - Press pic Author: Mik Scarlet

Occupation: Journalist, Broadcaster, Actor, Musician and Full Time Wheelchair User.

Mik is best know for his TV and radio presenting work, especially for the shows Beat That and From The Edge that he fronted in the 1990’s, and for his regular columns in publications such as Disability Now (http://www.disabilitynow.org.uk/regulars/Mik%20Scarlet), PosAbility (http://posabilitymagazine.co.uk/) and The Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/mik-scarlet/). Disabled since birth, Mik has championed the issue of disability and sexuality through out his career. He is very happily married to the wonderful Diane and lives in Camden, London.

You can find Mik at the following places:

Web – www.mikscarlet.com
Twitter – https://twitter.com/MikScarlet
Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/mikscarlet

 

Sex & Disability (Part 1 of 2)

Sex & Disability – The Question That Never Stops Being Asked

Mik Scarlet and his lovely wife Diane - Looking Awesome!

 

This is a guest article by Mik Scarlet – Journalist, Broadcaster, Actor, Musician and Full Time Wheelchair User. He’s been putting a spotlight on disability and sexuality for years – and we’re very happy he’s agreed to write a 2 part article on this issue, both for disabled people and their partners who may have questions.

Author: Mik Scarlet

Throughout my adult life I have faced a never ending number of people who have no problem with asking me personal and probing questions about my sex life. You see I am disabled and for some reason this means that I am expected by the wider non-disabled society to be fine with their interest in the details of my what I do in bed (or anywhere else for that matter). It’s not just me, all of my disabled friends and the disabled people I have met in my working life as a journalist and broadcaster also have the same experience. If you are disabled the normal rules of society do not apply to the subject of sex, and it seems everyone you meet is interested in whether you can do it or not, and if so how.

In my case this fascination led me to my career in the media, as I began working as a presenter on the UK’s youth television in the 1990’s fronting shows all about disability and sex. Even today I am regularly asked my views on the ins and outs of disability and sex by the media. However it’s not always to feed the voyeuristic tendencies of the non-disabled community, sometimes I get the chance to be involved in something more informative. This article, I hope, will be one of those.

What is funny about the public’s obsession with disability and sex is that most impairments do not impact on sexual function at all. The majority of disabled people are able to enjoy sex just like the rest of society and their only issues are caused by attitudes towards and stereotypes around disability. Some of this group might have problems with being able to physically manage the act, so to speak, but for them it is just an issue of access rather than function and anyone who is disabled, or is close to a disabled person, will know that solutions can be found to any access issue if you put your mind to it.

The impression that all disabled people are not sexual creatures is widespread and, as well as it coloring the way disabled people are seen by society, it impacts on the way we see ourselves. I know that as when I hit puberty I was absolutely sure that no one would want to be in a relationship with me as I was disabled. This crushing lack of confidence is part of the day to day lives of disabled people, whether they were born that way or come to an impairment later in life. Of course if you become disabled, either through illness or accident, you bring all the ignorance and prejudices into your new life as a disabled person, especially how you view your new attractiveness and sexuality. It is one of the elements of getting used to a newly acquired impairment that is rarely spoken about. This is even greater if your impairment does actually impact on your sexual function, and can be a real source of depression and emotional strain both on the newly disabled person and any partner, if they have one.

I have my own experience of what it is like to suddenly find yourself living in a body that doesn’t function sexually the way it once did. It happened to me at the tender age of fifteen when my disability worsened and my spine collapsed, which led me to say goodbye to my ability to walk or achieve erections. Whatever experts say, the biggest part of getting used to becoming paralyzed is learning to live with the change in sexual function. I started off on my journey by deciding that if I did ever get the chance to do the deed with someone I would be the best they ever had, and so I started on an almost academic study of sex. I read every book on the subject, and some other weirder stuff. I even read a torture manual, just in case I found myself with someone who took their S&M just a bit too seriously. My first post injury sexual relationship was with a close friend, who was a bi-sexual, meaning I learned from experience that erections are massively overrated when it comes to sex. It led me to realize that society lies to us about what sex is, and I felt I had to go out and tell the world. Which in turn led me to break in to the media as the UK’s first disabled sex expert.

I quickly learned that I was very lucky, because although my sexual motor function had gone, my sensation still worked fine meaning I could still orgasm. This led me to create a method to allow people who had no sensation to develop new orgasmic zones. A full description of the method can be found on my website – Click here – and trust me it does work. It comes from a system designed to prevent premature ejaculation, with my own little twist, and has been taken up by many in the field of working with those who have impairments that effect sexual function. I have witnessed a huge change in the confidence of the people I have worked with using this technique. However this is still falling into the trap of considering function that most important element of sex.

As this is an article for disabled people and their partner/s, I asked my wife Diane what she felt was the most important piece of advice I could give and she replied “communication”. Of course she is right, it doesn’t matter what does or doesn’t work if you don’t communicate, with whatever method you use. If you can crack this concept of being totally open with each other then you will find that it’s not only your sex life that survives disability, and in fact you become a much stronger couple. It will also carry you into the future. Recently I have had two periods of ill health, which really impacted on my confidence, but by being open with my wife she made sure I knew she still found me sexy. So much so that on my return from a stay in hospital for surgery that left my body incase in plaster she jumped on me as soon as I wheeled through the front door.

OK, I admit this all might sound like I’m bragging and you might feel a bit “it’s all right for him” but I think my story is proof that a very happy, enjoyable and fulfilling sex life is absolutely possible if you are a disabled person. If I had one piece of advice for any reader, disabled or not, is that sex is a kaleidoscope of fun and intimacy and having an impairment is in no way a bar to joining in the fun.

In my next article I will give a few of my suggestions of ways of exploring all of that fun if disability is part of your life. It might also stop some of those pesky “Can you do it?” questions!

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A couple of other articles by Mik of the subject that might help:

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Mik Scarlet - Press pic Author: Mik Scarlet

Occupation: Journalist, Broadcaster, Actor, Musician and Full Time Wheelchair User.

Mik is best know for his TV and radio presenting work, especially for the shows Beat That and From The Edge that he fronted in the 1990’s, and for his regular columns in publications such as Disability Now (http://www.disabilitynow.org.uk/regulars/Mik%20Scarlet), PosAbility (http://posabilitymagazine.co.uk/) and The Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/mik-scarlet/). Disabled since birth, Mik has championed the issue of disability and sexuality through out his career. He is very happily married to the wonderful Diane and lives in Camden, London.

You can find Mik at the following places:

Web – www.mikscarlet.com
Twitter – https://twitter.com/MikScarlet
Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/mikscarlet

 

The difference between silicone based lube and water based lube

What are the benefits of different lubes

Making the choice between Silicone based lube and Water based lube

 

[box icon=”heart”] Water Based Lubes [/box]

Most commonly available (Water based lubes are what you are most likely to have encountered in the supermarket, drug store, etc).

[highlight]Pros:[/highlight]

  • Can be re-activated when it dries out by just adding water (or spit, realistically – No one is holding a spray bottle during sex (usually))
  • Can be used with any sex toy without any concerns (including silicone ones)
  • Easily washed off when you’re done
  • Commonly available
  • Usually cheaper than silicone based lube

[highlight]Cons:[/highlight]

  • When it dries, it can leave a weird tacky feeling as well as tasting unpleasant
  • It dries. Quickly. Faster than silicone-based lubricants.
  • Can be allergenic if you happen to be sensitive to preservatives
  • Not good for underwater sex – Since it is water based, it tends to disperse.
  • Not great for anal sex, since it dries out quickly

[highlight]Neutrals:[/highlight]

  • Some brands now have lines that are organic, free of preservatives, etc
  • Some brands are very thin (watery) in texture, some are very thick (and used for “Money shots” in pornos!) – So it depends on the type of texture you like

[highlight]Water Based Lube Brands:[/highlight]

A few water based lube brands that are easy to find and generally well reviewed:

  • Durex (most commonly found in pharmacies, at least in Europe)
  • KY Jelly (commonly found in drug stores, supermarkets, etc, in the US)
  • Astroglide (Now paraben and glycerin free! – also commonly found)

[box icon=”heart”] Silicone Based Lube:[/box]

[highlight]Pros:[/highlight]

  • Doesn’t dry quickly, so a little goes a long way
  • Has a silky, slippery texture
  • Less likely to cause allergic reactions since they generally only contain 4 ingredients
  • Good for underwater (or in water) sex
  • Good for anal sex – The slipperiness and the fact that it’s long lasting makes a big difference

[highlight]Cons:[/highlight]

  • DO NOT USE WITH SILICONE SEX TOYS – No kidding, silicone lube will damage them
  • Not as easy to wash off
  • Can stain clothes and sheets, so go easy unless you like making a mess

[highlight]Neutral:[/highlight]

  • The lubed up feeling tends to stick around for quite a while unless you’ve taken a shower.

[highlight]Silicone Based Lube Brands:[/highlight]

Most of the big names also have a silicone based lube range, although it will be found much less commonly in stores. Online and in sex stores, you can find:

  • Pjur (They have a water based line, but their silicone is my favorite lube of all time)
  • Sliquid
  • ID
  • And many many more…

Most lubricant brands will have a wide variety of products on offer, incorporating water based lubes, silicone based lubes, flavored lubes and occasionally a hybrid of water/silicone. Shop around (you can get small bottles quite cheaply) until you find a few you like, since everybody values something different in their lubricants.

I’ve just discovered that Pjur has a coffee infused water based lube (not coffee flavored, but somehow made with coffee) that has intrigued me enough to want to purchase. Supposedly it gives you more energy!

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This post has been sponsored by: Naughty But Nice – All opinions are mine, and mine alone


Sex Toy Gift Guide: The Best Toys of 2013

(Some of) The Best Sex Toys of 2013


A guide to some of the best sex toys of 2013 and before: Perfect for Christmas, and other holiday related presents

Okay, so truthfully this isn’t a complete list, because that would be impossible. This is just some of the best toys that where available in 2013. Also, this time of year seems to be all about the presents and gifts we give and receive. Well, what’s better than the gift of orgasms? Nothing. Nothing is better. 

I’ve rounded up my favorites for the year – Some I own, some I’m massively lusting over their great reviews, and some I just ordered for Christmas (I think this counts as a present for my husband, no? My happiness is his gift).

Treat yourself, and maybe some friends, to a great time. 😉 Even if it is too late to order for Christmas, it’s never too late for orgasms.

[box icon=”heart”]Crystal Delights – Reignbow Pony Tail[/box]

Crystal Delight's Reignbow Pony Tail
Link to buy

This toy is at the top of my wish list, despite my partner saying there’s no way he could take me seriously with this in, I sneak in an ogle at this little beauty at least once a day. Crystal Delight’s handcrafted glass plugs are legendarily good, having won several awards and being a favorite with the lovely Ducky Doolittle.

This line comes in 4 colorsBright yellow, bright pink, bright purple, bright blue.

-swoon-

It’s love at first sight really: A handcrafted glass butt plug with a glorious neon colored pony tail attached to it. Enough said.

[box icon=”heart”]njoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel Dildo [/box]

njoy Pure Wand - Stainless Steel DildoLink to buy

The nJoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel Dildo is not for those who like flexible squishy toys. It is however a toy for men and women who want to hit that special spot. Tales of the njoy’s power of bringing women to insanely good squirting orgasms are legendary, and if HeyEpiphoria’s [http://www.heyepiphora.com/2010/07/my-love-the-pure-wand-plus-a-few-tips/] review of this shiny toy isn’t enough to make you salivate, well I just don’t know what is.

How about the other pros? It’s stainless steel, meaning it can be sterilized and is non porous. It can also be chilled or warmed up to provide even more intense sensations for the lucky lady or man in your life. The njoy itself is 680 grams and 8 insertable inches of steel, with a 1″ ball on one end, and a 1.5″ ball on the other connected by a delicious curve.

Oh and of course, it doesn’t need any batteries and can be used in the shower.

[box icon=”heart”] Crystal Delights (yes, really) Glass Anal Plugs  [/box]Crystal Delight's Glass Anal Plug with Clear Swarovski Element Crystal

Link to buy

Described aptly as: Boudoir Booty Bling, these gorgeous glass anal plugs are individually handcrafted, with a Swarovski Element Crystal embedded into the base. There’s a multitude of colors to choose from, both of the glass and of the Swarovski Crystal – and if you go to their Colors Against Cancer range, they contribute 10% of their yearly profits on that line to charities for colon cancer (So… you’d be doing good too! And that’s what the holiday season is all about)

People are always going on about blinging up your party outfits. Well, I don’t see how anyone can top this in terms of bling.

(Psst…. there’s a few with Hello Kitty on them!)

[box icon=”heart”]Luna Beads by Lelo[/box]

Luna by Lelo - Kegal exerciser ballsLink to buy

I’ve ordered these for myself after searching high and low through various reviews of Ben Wa balls (Kegel Weights). Luna beads not only look gorgeous (and somewhat like candy), but come in a set that includes two 28g and two 37g beads, so you can work your way up in weight and find your perfect comfort zone.

There’s also the option of the Luna (for women over 30, or whom have had children) and the Luna Mini (for women under 30, or who have no children). Their construction is flawless, and there’s a color option besides just pink! Hurrah!

If you’ve been on the look out for a good set of kegel weights, this sealed the deal for me: They weight balls roll around inside, so you get to feel an unexpected “roll” of pleasure as you’re walking around and doing other mundane activities that don’t normally involve genital stimulation. (Can also be bought at LoveHoney)

[box icon=”heart”]Liberator Wedge Ramp [/box]

Liberator Flip RampLink to buy

Okay, so you must be thinking ‘what’s so great about a wedge’ – But c’mon, look at it. It folds up into a neat little ottoman that wouldn’t look out of place at anybodies house, and unfolds into some devious playtime. The Flip Ramp allows you to get into some new, very interesting angles for penetration during sex, as well as making it easier for people who have a bad back (as I do… at this very moment…), since they can have added support.

I love Liberator’s other products as well; they have various wedge shapes, and a line that includes restraints as well for some fun bondage time 😀 Their products are not cheap (they can be bought cheaper on SheVibe… shh) – but they’re made to last. Plus, I love me a good ottoman.

[box icon=”heart”] Aneros Evi  [/box]

Aneros Evi - Kegal exerciser dildo and g-spot stimulatorLink to buy

I bought this little gem as a Christmas present for myself! This is Aneros’s first foray into women’s sex toys and judging by Ducky Doolittle’s review (found on page), it’s been very successful! This isn’t your average insertable – it’s meant to strengthen your pelvic muscles, on the road to orgasms. Basically, you use your pelvic floor muscles to grip the bulb part, and while doing your kegel exercises, you should be stimulating your g-spot at the same time.

In fact, their slogan is: Kegel fitness with orgasmic incentives.

I’ll be honest, I’ve had a kid and whilst I’ve had no complaints at all about my lady-bits, I have this huge fear of peeing myself while sneezing (thank you, hay fever) – Way too much information, yes, but while I know kegel exercises are good for you, they’re really boring to do. Plus I tend to get distracted halfway when someone asks what the hell I’m doing just staring intensely at the wall.

Exercise with rewards? That’s more up my alley. I like the idea of getting an orgasm as a reward for doing my kegels. (LoveHoney sells the Evi as well).

Best. Gift. Ever.

[box icon=”heart”] Kinklab’s Neon Wand  [/box]

KinkLab Neon Wand for electricity play

Link to buy

Here’s a lil something for the kinky folks. I had no interest in playing with electricity until I saw this baby!

Not as intense as traditional violet wands, the Neon Wand is great for beginners and intermediates (and people who don’t want too much pain, heh). There is a wide variety of attachments you can use with the Neon Wand, which will effect how intense the sensation delivered is (based upon surface area), and the wand itself has a dial to control the intensity.

I’m drawn to the visual aspect of watching the electricity in the glass tubes glow and dance around, and the anticipation it would create when it’s headed towards your (or your partner’s) skin, especially in dim lighting! The wand is compact and lightweight, which is a plus to someone who has a habit of dropping glass items, as well as coming with 4 different attachments!

[box icon=”heart”] Vel’vor Cock Rings  [/box]

Vel'vor JNaja in blackSite link

These are possibly the fanciest ergonomic cock rings I’ve ever come across (well, I’ve never seen any other ergonomic ones either way) – they’re meant to used as ‘body jewelry’, and are made to be worn all day, if the wearer feels like it. They’ve got a few lines for sale,with the more standard one (the jNaja) coming in 3 different sizes (no a one size fits all policy), but the even fancier line (jCobra) is a whole ‘nother matter!

Damned if that isn’t beautiful – handmade out of Silver or Gold to your size, its contours show even more, and it actually looks like a piece of jewelry, not like your standard cock ring. This is the gift that keeps on giving! The maker of these also does custom orders, like

Velv'Or JCobra stand alone in Silver

the incredible cobra cock ring (http://velv-or.com/ – scroll down).

You have to contact the maker, so it isn’t as easy as add to cart, but it’s definitely a unique gift. Anybody can buy a fancy watch, but guaranteed no one else has bought him a cobra cock ring before.

The jNaja line can be bought here

 

Well folks, that’s about it. There’s been a ton of great toys in 2013, but one can only lust after so many at any given time, and this is my list! No compensation has been paid for this post, and links are not affiliate links. Most of these items can also be bought through Amazon, SheVibe, and LoveHoney as well as many other retailers.

Have a happy New Year!

Beginners Guide to Bondage: Part 2 – Using household items for BDSM

Using common household items for BDSM and bondage play - rope

Using household items for BDSM: 6 Common Items

Are you interested in bondage or BDSM? There are many reasons why you might want to start off your adventures with common household items. The main two are: it will allow you to get a feel for whether you and your partner are really into this without a large monetary commitment, as well as allow you to hide your new play things in plain site (good for nosey kids, relatives and room mates).

Even if you are already somewhat experienced in the world of BDSM, you may find you derive a gleeful joy out of using boring old utensils for something more pleasing than baking a cake.

So below I present you with 6 common items you can use if you’re just getting into BDSM and don’t want to invest money in expensive products until you know if you like the experience. Also good for more experienced players looking to get creative. Most of these items can be bought at the supermarket or dollar store:

 

So, what kind of household items can we use?

[box icon=”heart”] 1) Rope [/box]

Rope is a staple item in the world of BDSM and near essential for bondage. It’s also one of the easiest items to have laying around.

A soft cotton rope works best, as it won’t cut into your skin and will allow you to stay comfortable even during a long session. Some people enjoy the feeling of hemp rope, which is scratchier and provides a more tactile sensation – but if you’ve got sensitive skin, better stick to the cotton.

[box icon=”heart”] 2) Pastry Brush[/box]

From the hard hair brush type to the softer silicone, pastry brushes are great tools. They’re excellent for sensation play, especially when done with sensory deprivation, such as when you/your partner is blindfolded. They can also be used for playing with food; spreading chocolate, etc onto your partner.

Warning: Don’t put Silicone based lube on any silicone items – they don’t play well together and you’ll damage your new toys.

[box icon=”heart”] 3) Spatula [/box]

Why, it doesn’t get any more innocent than this! Who would suspect the humble spatula of being such a good spanking tool.

The silicone spatula works as a small light paddle; great for beginners or those who like to warm up with light spanking to get started. A wooden spatula works as a heavier type of paddle, for a more intense spanking – also great for roleplay.

Warning: Don’t put Silicone based lube on any silicone items – they don’t play well together and you’ll damage your new toys.

[box icon=”heart”] 4) Scarves & Ties [/box]

Yes, yes, an obvious one. Scarves and ties make great blindfolds, but they’re also good for other aspects of bondage.

Use them to tie hands together, legs together, legs to chair legs… tie any body part to anything you like really. The benefit here, besides scarves and ties being an item you don’t need to hide, is that they feel lovely against the skin as you’re being tied up.

Warning: Beware of flimsy scarves that once knotted are hard to unknot! Practice beforehand so you don’t panic in the heat of the moment. Ties are less likely to get knotted.

[box icon=”heart”] 5) Clothes Pegs & Bag Clips[/box]

Using common household items for BDSM and bondage play - clothing pegs

Look at those innocent little beauties – nonchalantly holding your laundry in place.

A little hardcore for those squeamish about pain, but if you already know you have a masochistic side, you’re in for a treat.

Depending on the area you place them on, there are different levels of pain – but even placing them somewhere hardy like your forearms produces a very interesting sensation. They make a great cheap substitute for nipple clamps, but remember, the pressure can’t be adjusted on them, so check different brands for your favorite. Bag clips have a wider clamp area, so many people prefer them as nipple clamps to clothes pegs.

On the plus side? Your kids definitely aren’t going to mistake them for a toy they want to steal steal.

Warning: They hurt more coming off than going on, especially if left on for awhile. Don’t start out on your most sensitive parts until you’re sure you can handle it.

[box icon=”heart”] 6) Snake Bite Kit [/box]

A totally responsible addition to your First Aid Kit. The kit also contains little suction cups that are PERFECT for nipples.

Many people report that they prefer the sensation produced by suction cups from a snake bite kit to that of many commercial nipple clamps. Be responsible and find out!

There’s many more household items that can be perverted for our uses – What’s your favorite?

Review: Escort Guides and Directories

Review: Escort Guides and Directories

A review of Escort Guides and Directories

 

How do you find the escort of your dreams?

Recently I’ve had a few clients looking for the escort of their dreams. They all had a different ideal in mind, that yes, strayed from the myth of Big Fake Boobs, bleach blonde hair and a size 0. So, when I’m in search of just the right woman/man, I inevitably come across Escort Directory Guides.

To be upfront and honest: I’m not a fan of most of them. They tend to look sloppy and seedy, with their being little to no reassurance that the women and men posting are genuine, or that it is even them in their photographs. When I can’t recommend an acquaintance I already know and trust, and I want to be as close to 100% sure that I’m making a good recommendation – I inevitably wind up on these damn escort directories.

As I was grumbling about having to sift through hundreds of blurry dimly lit pictures taken with a webcam from 1995, I got sent a link to this site to review: http://australian-babe.com/

I really enjoyed browsing their site!

Here’s what to look for in a good directory site:

  • Clear, good quality images – That look at least semi professional
  • The label ‘verified by AB’ is a nice touch – it gives the viewer some assurances that they’re looking at a real photo of the person
  • Subdivided by location and there’s also a section for ‘Tours’ – indicating who, when and where will be touring
  • Features men, women and trans! And you can search by gender
  • Ability to search between Agency, Brothel and Private Escort – I love this, I prefer recommending agencies over private escorts, if I’m not already acquainted with the escort
  • Clear search functionality: Choose by gender, city, suburb, hair type, bust size, or by name
  • Each profile has clear concise information about the escort, including a bit about him/her, their working hours, pricing, experience, measurements, etc. And a link to their own website and e-mail.
  • Uncluttered site that isn’t overflowing with adverts! You can actually see what you’re looking for

I’m definitely loving this site from a browse-ability stand point, and the escorts featured are all gorgeous as well! I’d definitely recommend this site to anyone in Australia looking for companions, and for any escorts and agencies in Australia looking to feature in a directory.

Escort Etiquette: A quick guide to booking a successful appointment

Escort Etiquette - how to book an appointment with a companion

Tips & Advice on what to keep in mind when booking a meeting with an escort

Many men (and some couples and women), will at some point in their lives want to visit an escort. This is particularly true of businessmen and people who travel a lot, because companionship (and sex) are valuable commodities, and no one likes being lonely.

This post is aimed at those people who are considering hiring an escort for the very first time, and aren’t sure what to do (and for people who have tried, and don’t know why they’ve been rejected). There are a few [highlight]“etiquette rules”[/highlight] that must be followed to ensure a successful appointment, which I will detail below.

The list is in no way comprehensive, as each escort and each agency have a different set of rules and expectations. There are however some (nearly) universal guidelines that should always be followed, that many people seem to miss because their impression of escorts is based upon what they’ve seen in popular culture. If you took the time to find out what is expected of you, the client, then congratulations – You’re on your way to being the type of client those gorgeous women (and men) are happy to meet with.

Let’s start by looking at the escort’s primary concerns:

    •  Protecting themselves from potentially abusive clients
    •  Protecting themselves from the law
    •  Staying in control of the situation
    •  Concealing their identity

If you understand this, then you can understand the reasoning behind all the rules and regulations around booking appointments, payment, meetings, etc.

[box icon=”heart”] First Contact: [/box]

Whether booking through an individual or through an agency, your first contact will most likely be via e-mail, website form or phone.

Please make sure you read all the information of the site very carefully!

    • Check the preferred payment method – If the website says only credit cards accepted, then that is what’s accepted
    • Check what methods are not accepted – If the website says no cash payment, don’t ask if you can pay in cash at the end of the appointment. You won’t get one.
    • Check if they do in calls or out calls – If the escort you’re interested in only does out calls to pre-determined hotels, don’t ask her/him to come to your house
    • Check the rates – Don’t negotiate. This is a big red flag; if you cannot respect the escorts rates and time, you will not be trusted to respect the escort
    • Check the services provided – Don’t even think about negotiating this!
    • Check the preference for contact – If the website says call only after 7 pm, or that first contact is only by e-mail, follow those directions. You’re not going to get special treatment and be exempt from the rules.

After you’ve checked all the websites information, it’s time to make the first contact, via the escort/agencies preferred method. If there is any information that is not listed in their website or advert, during the first contact is when you need to ask it.

If you are calling by phone:

    • Don’t call drunk – Maybe you had a few drinks to work up the courage to call; doesn’t matter. If you’re slurring your words, you will not be given an appointment, because inebriated people are likely to violate the two primary concerns: Protection from potentially abusive clients, and staying in control of the situation. Call once you’ve sobered up.
    • Be respectful – You are not doing them a favor by calling; you wouldn’t be rude to your doctor when you make an appointment, don’t do it to your escort.
    • Don’t ask for services that are explicitly stated as being a ‘no’ – If you ask for bareback when the advert says no bareback, you’re showing a severe lack of respect for that persons boundaries and they are not likely to give you the time of day.
    • Don’t ask for services that are blatantly illegal – This should go without saying. (If you are in a country where prostitution is illegal, do not ask for sexual services over the phone, particularly if the website states “Companionship only”) Follow the rules.
    • Don’t ask for naked pictures – Escorts and agencies get many calls from people who are not serious about booking appointments, but are looking for material for their ‘spank bank’. If you ask for naked pictures, you’re not going to be taken seriously, and you’re not going to get them. You can see photos of the escorts on their websites.
    • Don’t send naked pictures of yourself – They don’t need it! They’re not going to be so impressed by your penis that they’re going to give you an hour of their time for free!
    • Don’t haggle! – Don’t haggle over price, over locations, over services. These people don’t know you – they are on alert for anything that sets off warning bells, and a person that tries to overstep boundaries is a definite warning bell.

If you are contacting by e-mail or website form:

Most of the rules for calling by phone apply when contacting by e-mail, but there is one additional big one:

Write your e-mail like a grown up! Use spelling and punctuation. It doesn’t have to be PHD Thesis quality – but it does have to look like a mature adult wrote it, and again, not whilst drunk. It is hard to take a request seriously from someone using text speak, so don’t do it. It’s only an extra few moments of your life – spend them wisely.

[box icon=”heart”] When booking an appointment: [/box]

    • Do not book an appointment for yourself, with the intention of having multiple people over. Just don’t do it, ever. 
    • When you are requested for a phone number, give your fixed land line number – unless you absolutely can’t. But do try.
    • If the website does not cover it, politely asking about any first meeting policies will make you come across as a responsible, respectful individual.
    • Try not to ask questions that are already answered on the website, unless you need clarification on some matter.
    • If there are questions you do need answer, ask them now – not once the appointment has been made.

When meeting (especially for the first time):

    • DO NOT SHOW UP DRUNK
    • DO NOT SHOW UP UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ANY DRUGS
    • Do not show up late – It’s disrespectful
    • Do show up showered and groomed – This individual will have spent time and money getting ready, waxing, doing their make up, etc, in preparation for meeting you. Show them the same respect back.
    • Do follow any instructions for payment to the letter – if you were instructed to leave a white envelope with cash, unsealed, on the coffee table, do exactly that. Not following instructions will put her/him on edge, and could result either a cancellation or a less enjoyable experience for the both of you.
    • If you’ve offered your companion a drink and they decline, don’t take offense – they are keeping a clear and level head. They may choose to partake in future meetings once they are comfortable with you, or they may not.
    • If you were asked to have identification ready, don’t try to back out of it at the last moment, or negotiate “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours” – you should have checked all the rules and found them acceptable before going ahead with your booking, and in most cases an escort will not show you her/his identification since protecting their identity is a primary concern.
    • If your companion offers services without condoms, but you would prefer to use one, feel free to tell her
    • If your companion does not offer services without condoms, don’t ask – This seems to be the biggest issuer that people don’t want to abide by, but remember, this is the escorts profession, and they are entitled to do anything within their power to keep themselves safe. They are also keeping you safe at the same time.

As you can see, most of these “instructions” are simply common sense. As long as you keep in mind that safety is the escort’s primary concern, you should have no problem complying with his or her requirements. If they feel safe, you will have a better experience. If you raise red flags, you won’t get to enjoy their company. If you are unsure of anything, ask first, don’t assume. Above all, conduct yourself in the same respectful manner as you would when dealing with any other professional service provider (though the experience should be a lot more fun with this particular service provider!)

* If you live in Australia, or are visiting there – you will note that full service providers are legal, and therefor discussion of services with agencies is a lot simpler. There are a wide variety of agencies and individual escorts to choose from, including Models Escort Agency and Select Sydney Escorts – where you can find up to date photographs of their lovely escorts, and enjoy a an unforgettable experience.

*This post is a sponsored post – Opinions expressed are all my own, and information has been compiled from various resources. If you are an escort looking for safety guidelines for yourself, please contact me and I will be happy to provide you with all the resources I can

e[lust] #50

mia Photo courtesy of Down the Rabbit Hole

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #51? Start with the newly updated rules, come back October 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

When the sex isn’t great

The Least You Can Do

I don’t know how to dominate

Continue reading e[lust] #50